James McNicholas

For those irritated by New Facebook: the unfortunate truth.

Knocked this up over the weekend.  Enjoy.

After 22 weeks and more than 120 performances, this afternoon I will take my final bow in The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged).

It has been a joy.  By far my longest run of any show, and I’ve never once felt bored.  It’s been a show that’s enabled me to combine two of my greatest passions: Shakespeare and contemporary comedy, and I have revelled in it.

I’m feeling a little soppy, so brace yourself, here comes the speech:

I’d like to thank the venue staff, especially Phil, Dean, Linda and Martin, for their generosity and kindness, as well as Damien Devine, the producer and owner of the theatre, for his good humour and his money.

I’d like to thank the production manager and assistant to the Joint Artistic Director Nicholas Thompson for his hard work and support, and for being foolish enough to invite me to the readthrough that got me seen by the director.

Which brings me to Henry Filloux-Bennett, who directed the show.  I’ve never laughed so much in a rehearsal room in my life.  Thankyou for a fantastic experience and some great memories, and for indulging me when I was messing about.

Our three stage managers, Paul Swarbrick, Eoin Furbank, and Kim Burrows, whose enormous patience I have tested with my refusal either go up on time or say the lines in their version of the script.

Thanks also to all those audience members who have attended.  It was their responses, reaction and goodwill that kept the thing alive.

Thanks, finally, to my outstanding fellow cast members: Owen Roberts, Lucy Woolliscroft, and latterly Charlotte McKinney.  It’s been an honour and a pleasure.

The show continues to run with a new cast, and I wish them every success.  I can guarantee they’ll have a lot of fun.

It has begun.

I mainly freelance because it means I can wear pyjamas to work.

rjthecunning:

ilovecharts:

What kind of gull am I?

Kelvingrove Museum, Glasgow, Scotland

Answering the important questions.

(via thearseblog)

This is Shridar Chillal.  According to Wikipedia, he holds the world record for the longest fingernails ever reached on a single hand, measuring 6.15 meters (20 feet 2.25 inches).  Chillal’s longest nail is 4.25 feet.  He started growing his nails in 1952.

Shridar’s nails caused his left hand to become disfigured and his left ear to lose all hearing.  Apparently this was due to nerve damage caused by the weight of the nails - not, as I originally suspected, an ill-advised scratch.

Still, Shridar probably considers it all worthwhile.  He is, after all, a world champion.

This afternoon, however, my thoughts have turned to the pretenders to Shridar’s throne.  Men with preposterously long nails, disfigured hands and dysfunctional ears that don’t have the comfort of World Record recognition to soothe their self-inflicted ailments.

At least when questioned as to his bizarre grooming choices, Shridar could point (right-handed) to the Guinness certificate on his wall with a modicum of pride.  What does the man whose nails have fallen short say?  “The second longest nails in the world” just doesn’t quite have the same ring.  He’s lived his life in pursuit of a goal that has forever evaded him.

Perhaps he jokes about it.  “Oh, it was a close thing.  Nail-biting even - that’s probably what did for me!” and then turns away to shed a silent, solitary tear.

Next time you’re flicking through the Guinness Book, marvelling at the fabulous freaks who fill its pages, spare a thought for the nearly men.  In the world of World Records, much like in Highlander, there can only be one.

Competent haikus

Require a higher IQ

Than the one I’ve got.